OK Guys I think I'm beginning to get into the mode of this thing , it all started on Fathers day when I received a beard trim as one of my presents . After giving the beard a once over I was left with a lot of time on my hands , the instructions mentioned it could also be used to remove bodily hair . So with the aid of a few strategically placed mirrors I gave myself a full Brazilian , Back , Crack and Sack . Tomorrow I'm off to the Tanning Booth for a nice tan , somewhere around the colour of the batter on my Friday nights Fish and Chips . Let's wait and see if transformation can get me into the mood to watching any football
chippy

Not sure you want to use "transformation" and "Brazil" in the same sentence with reference to yourself chippy. I heard on a TV show last night that it is the sex change capital of the world.

Colin

Colin I've cancelled the tanning sessions and I'm frantically gluing all the hair back on . Definitely don't wont any confusion on that score .
chippy

Hey Gordon Your not from Essex?
ill not know you at Euro, what with you looking like a celeb! ill just observe the way you walk, I believe chaffing is a problem
when you have work done .

Food for thought:
Watch through to the end:-

The man had a cracked cervical vertebra (broken neck) when he kicked this drop goal (mind you, so did Bert Trautman in the '56 Cup Final)!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/rugby-union/27939607 but don't mention the All Blacks!

Here's to another Football World Cup (Rugby Football) next year. Hopefully England will get through to at least the semifinals.

Mike

The sad thing is that I thought it was real until the hair brush and spray came out. 'Nough said.

Colin

That's what made it real Colin, bunch of poufs as BSM Williams would have said

Everytime I played football in the depths of winter, (that's soccer for across the pond) it did not matter whether you were kicked in the head or shins, you always got the very icy cold sponge on your b*****ks, you soon forgot about the injury.....and this was recreation.
I played in one match were it snowed so hard we could not see the opponents goal from the half way line. We just got up and got on with it, you would not dare roll around on the floor like these prima donna's, unless you wanted a kicking from both sides. Professional footballer's are like andrex toilet tissue....... soft and over priced.

I once stubbed my big toe and fell down holding it in front of my fiancé. She called me a drama queen and still reminds me if it today, 30 years later. I think I broke it ..... but I could lose a leg to a round shot in front of her today and not make a whimper. So not worth it. I think these guys need a dose of female mockery.

Colin

england were just unlucky, i thought they played well,but the level of football being played is very high, so they can come home with their heads high. better luck next time./badger

My present wife watched me playing against London Welsh in the 70s as I charged down a clearance kick getting my jaw broken and a fractured cheekbone in the process.
I went to hospital ......... she went up west with the rest of the team and their wives and girlfriends.
Women are really tough.....

i cant play football,bloody useless, i even tried golf and the only two good balls i hit allday was when i stood on a rake/badger

Says it all when the broadcasts of the games finish and half the players are in the ads, particularly England's goalkeeper (advertising shampoo!). Shows where the priorities are.

Geoff

The England players will be in the ads longer than they are in the tournament.

Roger.

they can always sponsor/vanish./badger

This is brilliant (found on GMIC)



Colin

The flopping was getting bad in the NBA a couple of seasons ago so the league instituted fines. A sports station was interviewing a recently retired player who told him that they were actually practicing flopping in team practices. The interviewer was shocked and asked if the coaches were involved. The player replied that the coaches were the ones who showed them the films of soccer players in action as examples.

Bob

I know the NHL hands out a 2 minute minor penalty for blatant dives.

Rule 64 - Diving / Embellishment
64.1 Diving / Embellishment – Any player who blatantly dives, embellishes a fall or a reaction, or who feigns an injury shall be penalized with a minor penalty under this rule.
A goalkeeper who deliberately initiates contact with an attacking player other than to establish position in the crease, or who otherwise acts to create the appearance of other than incidental contact with an attacking player, is subject to the assessment of a minor penalty for diving / embellishment.
64.2 Minor Penalty - A minor penalty shall be imposed on a player who attempts to draw a penalty by his actions (“diving / embellishment”).
64.3 Fines and Suspensions - Regardless if a minor penalty for diving / embellishment is called, Hockey Operations will review game videos and assess fines to players or goalkeepers who dive or embellish a fall or a reaction, or who feign injury. See also Rule 28 – Supplementary Discipline. The call on the ice by the Referee is totally independent of supplementary discipline.
The first such incident during the season will result in a warning letter being sent to the player or goalkeeper. The second such incident will result in a one thousand dollar ($1,000) fine. For a third such incident in the season, the player shall be suspended for one game, pending a telephone conversation with the Director of Hockey Operations. For subsequent violations in the same season, the player’s suspension shall double (i.e. first suspension – one game, second suspension – two games, third suspension – four games, etc.) See also Rule 28 – Supplementary Discipline.

Colin

In hockey and basketball, the action is so fast it is hard for the refs to determine what happened so the leagues also have the right afterwards to make a ruling. The sad part in basketball and soccer is it seems the biggest stars are also the biggest clowns. If I want to see pratfalls, I'll turn on a Buster Keaton movie.

Bob

Not to be boring but some of these are too good to waste.



Colin