1. Copying kits is a crime that hurts original artists & producers. Help support your favorite artists by buying their original works. PlanetFigure will not tolerate any activities related to recasting, and will report recasters to authorities. Thank you for your support!

Controversial! +13 The Snaddon Secret

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by DEL, Feb 17, 2015.

  1. DEL A Fixture

    Country:
    Scotland
    As promised I have decided to make public the secret of Brian Snaddons painting technique.
    Over the years many of you have admired Brians skills and indeed he has had his work recognised and awarded at many prestigious shows and competitions.
    But first a potted Biography
    Shockingly this success is built on an unfair advantage .......... Brian is a Polydactyl .......... he has an extra thumb on his left hand.
    Polydactyly.jpg
    Those of you who have met Brian ask yourself ...... have I ever noticed his hand ...... the answer is NO because he hides it so well.
    This unusual condition is a consequence of him being a direct descendant of Napoleon who shared the condition and was equally adept at concealing the fact, note the images.
    pg-35-napoleon-1-dea-getty.jpg article-2155213-00829C1800000258-490_306x437.jpg
    As a baby Brian had this extra thumb on both hands and it was decided to remove both surgically. The extra thumb on the right hand was removed (this can be viewed in a preservation jar in the Natural History Museum . New York).
    Before the left hand could be tackled the surgeon was called away to assist Florence Nightingale in the Crimea, after all Brian is very old.
    Initially this 'mutation' brought only misery to Brian. His school career was dogged by bullying, this had less to do with the extra thumb but more the advantage that it gave Brian in arithmetic.
    Rejected by his peers the lonely boy established a relationship with a sympathetic teacher who was reknowned for his interest in weather and in particularly wooly jumpers.
    This relationship developed in Brian a lifelong interest in a certain type of quadrupedal ruminant mammal.
    dolly.jpg
    In turn this led to Brian emigrating to Australia where an interest in all things mutton is a national characteristic.
    After a few years spent guarding a sand dune in The Great Sandy Desert where he picked up the nickname of Priscilla he was headhunted by the Roslin Institute to contribute to the development of Dolly the Sheep.
    Much of his work here is shrouded in secrecy but seems to have involved evening work, soft music and lanolin. The results of this can best be seen in the Peak District where many a sad and lonely guy has cause to thank Brian for his current relationsheep.
    1.1244347200.me-and-a-sheep-manx.jpg
    During the day with time on his hands Brian took to visiting the nearby Roslin Chapel looking for a new direction to channel his energies.
    Finding an old chalice, still in use as his brush pot, Brian began to take an interest in history and it's representation through the painting of miniature historical figures.
    AND FINALLY THE SECRET.........
    Brian holds the figure he's painting as normal in his left hand but uses his extra thumb to attach a small magnifying glass ensuring the magnification focal length remains constant no matter what Brian does with his other hand.
    B062_04.jpg
    Dear customer you can now take advantage of this enhancement by purchasing Bertorelli's latest product ...... the Six Finger Figure Painters Glove.
    18s0c8kz2tjdjjpg.jpg Hand knitted in finest lambswool by children and old people working for benefits in government sponsored initiatives. These gloves come in a variety of colours including natural and flesh.
    At extra cost a battery operated vibration capability can be incorporated providing a constant massage to stiff little fingers. Apparently this facility has other uses.
    In addition and only to very select customers the glove gan be stitched from the skins of endangered species and indeed much loved family pets. It has been noted that a number of members use four legged companions as their avatars and these members can be linked to others who have expressed an interest in guns and in shooting sentient beings. Negotiatons can be brokered between members ensuring Fido is despatched with efficiency and as little damage as possible.
    A further service involving the disposal of the carcass can be arranged with Bertorelli Far East.

    For more information contact ..... : Ronald Tamburinni.
  2. Tubby-Nuts2 A Fixture

    Country:
    United-Kingdom
    Del, I will leave this one to the 'SNP', (Scottish Nodellers Party) ... Hopefully, that is how the word 'Modellers ', is pronounced in 'Glasgow'.:cautious:

    I am terrible with varying dialect! :D :LOL:

    Mark
    garyhiggins, brian and DEL like this.
  3. garyhiggins A Fixture

    Country:
    England
    This sounds not so much like a shaggy dog story, more like a wooly jumper story - boing!, boing!, boing:LOL:
    brian, DEL, peedee and 1 other person like this.
  4. DEL A Fixture

    Country:
    Scotland
    Gary, I'm disappointed that you find this hard to believe.
    Perhaps this endorsement by the office bearers of The Irish Model Soldier Society will convince you otherwise (y)
    brian, peedee and garyhiggins like this.
  5. Uruk-Hai PlanetFigure Supporter

    Country:
    Sweden
    And whos been going thru shrooms now, huh?

    Cheers
    Janne Nilsson
    brian and DEL like this.
  6. kagemusha A Fixture

    Country:
    United-Kingdom
    Even had you have written this under an assumed name/identity.....I would have known it was you.......only you Del :LOL::ROFLMAO::hilarious::arghh:
    ChaosCossack, brian, DEL and 2 others like this.
  7. garyhiggins A Fixture

    Country:
    England
    Next you'll have me believing it wasn't Ronnie Corbett singing the Uist Tramping Song:woot:.
    brian and DEL like this.
  8. DEL A Fixture

    Country:
    Scotland
    The Uist Tramping Song ......... you'd think these tightfisted Hebridean inbreds would take the bus if they're that keen to get home to their midge infested mud huts.
    brian and garyhiggins like this.
  9. Gerry Active Member

    Del, Are Brians fingers also webed? as i work with said people who have the same condition
    people who have this are gifted, can swim a mile with no effort at all and communicate
    in a strange tongue, its a condition ive been told with bieng in contact with farm yard animals
    usualy sheep ! o_O:) only kidding Brian, your a tallented and retired if I can say? ( all the time in the world to get it right!)
    fair play to you mate! you deserve the praise!!
    brian and DEL like this.
  10. Richie A Fixture

    Country:
    United-Kingdom
    :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: Wait until he comes to the Sword & Lance, he's getting charged two entrance fees for that extra thumb.
    Helm, garyhiggins, brian and 2 others like this.
  11. brian A Fixture

    Country:
    Scotland
    Well shut my mouth!Derek's written my biography for me ,and i'm not sorry that my secret has been revealed,but when i next meet up with Derek, my extra thumb will be shoved right up his aerosol.
    Brian
    Mark S, Helm, garyhiggins and 4 others like this.
  12. Helm A Fixture

    Country:
    England
    :ROFLMAO: I would imagine those gloves will also sell well in Norfolk, Wales, The Peak District and Cheshire all places where there is a..... shall we say limited gene pool :sneaky:
    Steve
  13. DEL A Fixture

    Country:
    Scotland
    Might have to add a few more fingers to the glove for these markets ;)
    garyhiggins and Helm like this.
  14. Helm A Fixture

    Country:
    England
    Might want to throw in a few pairs of these too [IMG]
    ChaosCossack and DEL like this.
  15. Ron Tamburrini A Fixture

    Country:
    United-Kingdom
    He might like that :eek:
    billyturnip likes this.
  16. garyhiggins A Fixture

    Country:
    England
    I'm not really sure it's safe to connect the Louisiana bayou with the size of the gene pool :nailbiting::wtf:
    Tubby-Nuts2 and DEL like this.
  17. DEL A Fixture

    Country:
    Scotland
    I know I should probably bow to the voice of experience ...... but I'll pass. :happy:
    garyhiggins likes this.
  18. Ron Tamburrini A Fixture

    Country:
    United-Kingdom
    It is your arse he wants to stick it up (y)
  19. DEL A Fixture

    Country:
    Scotland
    I'm sure he was talking about an aerosol ........ you need therapy, what goes on in your mind :eek:
    Helm likes this.
  20. tonydawe A Fixture

    Country:
    Australia

Share This Page

planetFigure Links

Reviews & Open Box
Buy. Sell & trade
Articles
Link Directory
Events
Advertising

Popular Sections

Figure & Minis News
vBench - Works in Progress
Painting Talk
Sculpting Talk
Digital Sculpting Talk
The Lounge
Report Piracy

Who we are

planetFigure is a community built around miniature painters, sculptors and collectors, We are here to exchange support, Information & Resources.

© planetFigure 2003 - 2022.