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That conference ......

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by fogie, May 23, 2021.

  1. fogie A Fixture

    As the G7 Conference draws nigh, we've noticed a few changes here.
    The road joining the two main venues now boasts an immaculate new
    smooth surface, detour signs and miles of steel barriers also stand ready
    for deployment. Communication masts have sprouted everywhere like
    mushrooms....and you can't help but notice the security personnel.

    As the dogs and I wandered the fields this morning a stern looking bod
    appeared almost from nowhere asking me for ID - as if people taking
    dogs for a walk on a Sunday morning carry identity papers !! He wore
    smart shiny city shoes and a very sharply tailored suit (a bit of an unsightly
    firearm-shaped bulge on the left side...ready for a right-handed cross draw
    was my guess), perfect disguise in a hotel lobby perhaps, but rather out of
    place on a wind-swept Cornish cliff top. When he allowed me to move along
    he managed to pop one of his shiny shoes neatly into a fresh cow pat. Making
    my way home I laughed so hard that I trod in one as well...I've just spent ten
    minutes hosing the bloody stuff off my boots.

    Mirofsoft, akaryu, Old Pete and 4 others like this.
  2. OldTaff PlanetFigure Supporter

    I bet none of the residents in your area, Mike, have received any notification that there may be unusual activity in your location, or that you may be asked for identification whilst going about your normal everyday business. Bulges in jackets or not, you have every right to ask THEM for identification, and to question why you have been stopped. Despite what they'll tell you, they should follow the same procedure as any ordinary bobby on the beat.
    The Home Secretary was on the Marr show this morning, saying this was not a police state. Ho, Hum:rolleyes:

    Airkid and DEL like this.
  3. Martin Rohmann A Fixture

    George Orwell already knew:"All animals are equal but some are more equal. "

    Our Lords and Masters live in their own world - and they do a hell of a lot to keep reality out of the way.

    theBaron, akaryu, Wayneb and 2 others like this.
  4. fogie A Fixture

    Jokes are already in circulation about the warship anchored in the bay being for sale,
    and Gerard Butler wannabe's auditioning for the new sequel - Carbis Bay has Fallen.

    Martin64 and OldTaff like this.
  5. DEL A Fixture

    A few years ago I was invited to the VIP hospitality lounge at Murrayfield before a Scotland game.
    Drink in hand I spotted a tray with some tablet on it on a table in a recess.
    Thinks me.....scotch whisky and a wee bit of Scottish tablet just the job before going out to sit in the Edinburgh chill.
    As I reached to grab a piece two men in grey suits headed me off and manoeuvered me away telling me that the tablet was exclusively for Princess Anne, a bit of a tradition apparently.
    Clearly if I'd been a real VIP I'd have known. You can take the boy out of the docks but you can't take the docks out of the boy :D ......... the tablet was still there after the game.
    Helm, DaddyO and Martin64 like this.
  6. Airkid PlanetFigure Supporter

    Big brother eh? Periodically I take the dog for a walk in a local village where I once lived. I always make a point of visiting George Orwell's grave - he's buried in St James churchyard in Sutton Courtenay, under his real name, Eric Arthur Blair. He wasn't far wrong, was he?

    akaryu, Martin64 and DEL like this.
  7. Martin64 A Fixture

    2010: Visit of the President of the Federal Republic of Germany Mr. Wulf to Mainz (Rhineland-Palatinate): A nice person (I still will not decribe this person any further and at the end of the story you will know why) offers the close protection officers taking a short break in the backroom some really delicious candies on a plate. By and by other officers are called in by radio and the plate is reliefed of all candies in a short while. Suddenly a lady - obviously in command of the buffet - arrives and asks urgently for the candies while the nice person is about to faint - because the lady freaks out when she sees the empty plate on the table and yells - these were handmade candies for the president - 30 Euros a piece!!! Our Teamleader while still swallowing down the last candies confirms to the lady that nobody has any idea what happened to them - the nice person afterwards told that we saved her life:D.
    Helm, Tom W., Blind Pew and 3 others like this.
  8. Wayneb A Fixture

    Mike......You should be writing novels with with your way with words and tying sentences into one descriptive story. Artistic talent has a way of carrying over from one thing to another. You may have another niche.

    Wayne :).........No joke
  9. Nap A Fixture

    Hi Mike

    Great thread , as you say amazingly the road has been repaired ...strange that ! ....now did you have a slight but no doubt dignified chuckle regarding the cowpat ......LOL

  10. fogie A Fixture

    In their seemingly frantic efforts to prevent protesters (designated "urban terrorists" !!)
    from blighting this conference in the eyes of the world, the organisers have introduced
    a swathe of restrictions upon those who live here - road closures, shop closures, beach
    and public footpath prohibitions - and not just for the few days of the conference itself
    but for weeks either side of it. It's perceived as unnecessary officious heavy handedness
    and the natives are growing restless...there are ominous rumblings...Trelawney's army
    may rise again.:joyful:

    OldTaff and DaddyO like this.
  11. Martin Rohmann A Fixture

    A story from Bremen:

    Three years ago my former wife and I went to the "Freimarkt", a big folk festival. At some point - it was around 8 p.m. - we got hungry and went to one of the many "food stalls" there.

    When we had about half eaten, a young man in a well-fitting suit came to our table and said we had to go now.

    When I asked "why?" he replied that the members of the Bremen Senate (our state government) were about to arrive with guests.

    When I showed him that there was still enough space, he replied: "Yes, but they don't want to be disturbed."

    While we were discussing, they cordoned off the feed stall with red and white caution tape.

    I got "stubborn" and told the young man that my money was worth no less than that of the Senate - and that we would leave exactly when we were finished and when WE saw it right.

    He replied: "Then I have to call the police now."

    Now I was really angry!

    I replied that he was free to call the police, but he should remember that the distinguished guests would certainly be accompanied by representatives of the press who wanted to take beautiful pictures ("The government celebrates together with the ordinary people").

    If he called the police now, I would do that so that the photographers could get unforgettable pictures!

    Then the man disappeared without a word.

    Shortly afterwards the members of the government came with their high-born guests, took their seats at the tables around us - and when my wife and I had finished eating and drinking we left.

    End of the story.

    Oh yes, at the time our government consisted of a coalition of "social" democrats and the (left) "Greens" ...

    I think we're seeing the return of feudalism....

    Blind Pew, DaddyO and Airkid like this.
  12. Airkid PlanetFigure Supporter

    There's always two rule books - a big, fat hefty one that applies to us plebs, and a couple of sheets of A4 for our "betters". Line one on the first sheet of A4 says "try not to get caught", line two "if you are caught, blame someone else and go on national TV to protest your innocence". Line three "make sure you look after your rich mates" ... I could go on:mad:
    OldTaff likes this.
  13. Martin Rohmann A Fixture

    Nice song from the french revolution, performed by Edith Piaf!

    English translation of the refrain...:

    Ah! It'll be fine, It'll be fine, It'll be fine
    aristocrats to the lamp-post
    Ah! It'll be fine, It'll be fine, It'll be fine
    the aristocrats, we'll hang them!
    Airkid likes this.
  14. theBaron A Fixture

    Orwell gets all the press, but Huxley's model is probably a better one, to describe where we're headed. And Anthony Burgess, too. Both were a little more prescient than Orwell.
    Kurt Vonnegut was, too. Look up his short stories, "Harrison Bergeron" and "The Big Space F**k". Both describe features that have either come to pass, or are close to it.

    oldtrousers, Blind Pew and Airkid like this.
  15. Richie A Fixture


    Well Mike, I think you got off lightly will a cowpat......now if he had appeared will a bulge in his trousers it might have been a totally different story:D
    fogie and Nap like this.

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