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Paula and I in a mess.

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by swralph, Aug 14, 2021.

  1. swralph A Fixture

    Hello my Friends.
    I do not really post pics or comment anymore because my mental health has been very bad this year but I do look in most days.
    On Thusday 12 May 2021 Paula suffered an haemorragic stroke and is in hospital.
    Paula is my carer and lifeline and I am going down extremly fast with very strong suicidal thoughts.
    Paul is aware of what is going on and can speak in a very slurred mannner but is understandable(just).
    I am facing many problems at the moment and I am very scared.
    If I can't look after myself properly, how can I look after Paula when she gets home?.
    There are many problem going through my mind that I can't solve and I just want to end it all.
    I don't know what else to do or say.
    Love to you all.
    Ralph.
    winfield likes this.
  2. Nap A Fixture

    Country:
    England
    Hi my friend

    Believe me there is always light at the end of the tunnel , I am sure that despite what's happening you WILL find the strength , small steps each time

    It's totally natural you are scared but you see this through ...we are all full of reserve inner strength at times like this

    Talk to the many agency's that are there to help and full of advice and experts

    You might perhaps chat to a doctor , speak to the staff that are looking after Paula , or perhaps the hospital Chaplin

    It's a very positive thing you are looking into PF .........always good to know that ....by posting this thread shows a massive strength IMO

    Thinking of you both

    Nap
    Babelfish and swralph like this.
  3. housecarl A Fixture

    Country:
    United-Kingdom
    Samaritans.
    116 123
    Hang in there mate, things will get better.
    Peace and love,
    Carl.
  4. Martin64 A Fixture

    Country:
    Germany
    If you found the enormous strenght to write this post you should definitely not give up on working out solutions for your problems. Forward this post to people that are close by and that can provide support. I am sure they are out there and they are waiting for your message.
    Keeping my fingers crossed. Best wishes, Martin
    Nap and swralph like this.
  5. swralph A Fixture

    Thanks so much guys.
    My Daughter has come down from Leeds and is now helping me to sorts things out which has eased my mind considerably.
    Most of the bad thoughts thoughts have gone and Esk has wrote a plan out for me until she can return in a weeks time.

    Your support is so helpful to me.
    All the best.
    Ralph.

    ps,I do still paint figures but my work has gone downhill due to me shaking so much.
    Babelfish, Martin64 and Nap like this.
  6. akaryu PlanetFigure Supporter

    Country:
    Belgium
    Never give up, never surrender!

    One never knows what beauty the future might bring, so stay curious.

    Best wish,

    Pierre
    swralph and Nap like this.
  7. winfield Active Member

    My thoughts are with both of you. Dealing with less than effective mental health is literally no joke. Unless one has experienced this, it is difficult to imagine. My most fervent hopes that you get the help you need and that Paula recovers soon. I will keep you in my thoughts and discussions with my Maker. Hope you find peace. PF is a great distraction from the pain.
    Nap and swralph like this.
  8. Wayneb A Fixture

    Country:
    United-States
    Ralph,
    Hoping the best for both you and your wife......
    Your friend,
    Wayne
    Nap and swralph like this.
  9. kagemusha A Fixture

    Country:
    United-Kingdom
    Hi Ralph,
    you have never hidden your mental health issues from us...that takes the kind of strength only a few possess...and is something to be proud of mate.
    Try to see Paula's problem...and the way it affects you...from a different perspective...one in which you can harness your obvious inner strength to help her...and gain some much needed self-confidence in doing so.
    My partner has long term mental health issues...however...we work as a team to combat that...and that is important for both of us to be able to cope.
    Paula's awareness shows she will still be capable of working with you...and she will draw on the strength you show her in winning her own fight.
    It won't be easy mate...trust me...some days will be harder than others...however...you can always pop in here and have a rant.
    My very best to you both.

    Ron
    Nap, swralph and housecarl like this.
  10. swralph A Fixture

    Thanks to everyone for their help and support.
    I have further bad news.
    Paula has had a further 2 big strokes today.She has been transferred to an hospital in Liverpool where they are currently operating on her by drilling a hole in her skull to reduce the pressure.
    My children and I were told that Paula has suffered permanant brain damage and will never get much better than her current state.
    All my love to you all.
    Ralph.
  11. kagemusha A Fixture

    Country:
    United-Kingdom
    That's so very sad to hear mate.

    Thinking of you both.

    Ron
    swralph, Nap and housecarl like this.
  12. swralph A Fixture

    Paula is now in a coma and the doctors have said there is little chance of recovery.
  13. kagemusha A Fixture

    Country:
    United-Kingdom
    Lost for words mate.
    swralph likes this.
  14. swralph A Fixture

    Me too Ron.
    I just feel really lost and just keep crying.
    kagemusha likes this.
  15. Nap A Fixture

    Country:
    England
    We are all thinking of you both Ralph ....You will feel lost its natural but you have your daughter and you've lots of good friends here

    Nap
    swralph and sd0324 like this.
  16. Mirofsoft A Fixture

    Country:
    Belgium
    I just discover the post
    I realy don't know what to say
    I will keep a space in my mind for you and He will see it and in His ways support you
    swralph and Nap like this.
  17. kagemusha A Fixture

    Country:
    United-Kingdom
    Tears express what words cannot mate...it's how we all show the feelings we can't put into words...just proves your strong enough to accept your hurting.
    Take comfort in your family...and your many friends here...we all care mate.

    Respect

    Ron
    Babelfish, swralph, Nap and 2 others like this.
  18. samson Well-Known Member

    Country:
    United-States
    Hello from the states my friend. I am sorry for what you are going through. I have fought depression my whole life please hang on reach out to friends and family for help and there is always this forum . If you would like you can always pm whenever you would like . Take things one step and one day at a time and don’t ever give up no matter how tired you get please keep us updated
    Nap, swralph and housecarl like this.

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