Hello my Friends.
I do not really post pics or comment anymore because my mental health has been very bad this year but I do look in most days.
On Thusday 12 May 2021 Paula suffered an haemorragic stroke and is in hospital.
Paula is my carer and lifeline and I am going down extremly fast with very strong suicidal thoughts.
Paul is aware of what is going on and can speak in a very slurred mannner but is understandable(just).
I am facing many problems at the moment and I am very scared.
If I can't look after myself properly, how can I look after Paula when she gets home?.
There are many problem going through my mind that I can't solve and I just want to end it all.
I don't know what else to do or say.
Love to you all.
Ralph.

If you found the enormous strenght to write this post you should definitely not give up on working out solutions for your problems. Forward this post to people that are close by and that can provide support. I am sure they are out there and they are waiting for your message.
Keeping my fingers crossed. Best wishes, Martin

Thanks so much guys.
My Daughter has come down from Leeds and is now helping me to sorts things out which has eased my mind considerably.
Most of the bad thoughts thoughts have gone and Esk has wrote a plan out for me until she can return in a weeks time.

Your support is so helpful to me.
All the best.
Ralph.

ps,I do still paint figures but my work has gone downhill due to me shaking so much.

My thoughts are with both of you. Dealing with less than effective mental health is literally no joke. Unless one has experienced this, it is difficult to imagine. My most fervent hopes that you get the help you need and that Paula recovers soon. I will keep you in my thoughts and discussions with my Maker. Hope you find peace. PF is a great distraction from the pain.

Ralph,
Hoping the best for both you and your wife......
Your friend,
Wayne

Hi Ralph,
you have never hidden your mental health issues from us...that takes the kind of strength only a few possess...and is something to be proud of mate.
Try to see Paula's problem...and the way it affects you...from a different perspective...one in which you can harness your obvious inner strength to help her...and gain some much needed self-confidence in doing so.
My partner has long term mental health issues...however...we work as a team to combat that...and that is important for both of us to be able to cope.
Paula's awareness shows she will still be capable of working with you...and she will draw on the strength you show her in winning her own fight.
It won't be easy mate...trust me...some days will be harder than others...however...you can always pop in here and have a rant.
My very best to you both.

Ron

Thanks to everyone for their help and support.
I have further bad news.
Paula has had a further 2 big strokes today.She has been transferred to an hospital in Liverpool where they are currently operating on her by drilling a hole in her skull to reduce the pressure.
My children and I were told that Paula has suffered permanant brain damage and will never get much better than her current state.
All my love to you all.
Ralph.

That's so very sad to hear mate.

Thinking of you both.

Ron

Paula is now in a coma and the doctors have said there is little chance of recovery.

Lost for words mate.

Me too Ron.
I just feel really lost and just keep crying.

I just discover the post
I realy don't know what to say
I will keep a space in my mind for you and He will see it and in His ways support you

Tears express what words cannot mate...it's how we all show the feelings we can't put into words...just proves your strong enough to accept your hurting.
Take comfort in your family...and your many friends here...we all care mate.

Respect

Ron

Hello from the states my friend. I am sorry for what you are going through. I have fought depression my whole life please hang on reach out to friends and family for help and there is always this forum . If you would like you can always pm whenever you would like . Take things one step and one day at a time and don’t ever give up no matter how tired you get please keep us updated